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Archive for September, 2008

Best and Worst: Deer in Headlights Edition

You know, I actually spent a decent amount of time this evening wondering whether anything that happened today made me legitimately unhappy. At the Big E, nothing really does. Alpacas galore, with their funny little hairdos. Innumerable fried delicacies and beer “on the go.” Stellar people watching, from curly mullets to a fatty riding a motorized cooler. Ox asses. Llama feeding. Clydesdales. Roosters. All on a perfectly sunny day.

Man, did I learn my lesson.

We were homeward bound at around 8 p.m., driving down a dark road in Longmeadow just a mile away from our friends’ place, when we encountered a species that we hadn’t expected to see today. The first deer bounded gracefully across the road ahead of us, safely reaching the woods on the opposite side. Rob slowed down immediately, wisely stating, “Where there’s one, there’s usually another –”

And then this happened.

Absolute, undeniable WORST MOMENT: The second deer. Rob didn’t even have a chance to complete his sentence when it ran directly into his car. No time for swerving, no time for stopping. Rob pulled over, both of us chanting, “oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” over and over. My heart was in my throat, and I think I learned the meaning of being “shaken up” by something. I sat in the car shivering while Rob impressively went into crisis mode, running across the street to where the deer had fallen and calling 911.

When I finally mustered the guts to look back at it, I was initially relieved to see that the deer had survived. Rob, however, knew better. It was suffering. The cops arrived on the scene within minutes; clearly they had seen this many times before. Matter-of-factly, they advised Rob that they’d need to put her down. The logistics were handled efficiently, and they sent us on our way.

We didn’t make it far before Rob realized he hadn’t effectively surveyed the damage to the front of his car. When he pulled over again and got back out to check, he heard the shots. Two of them. No more suffering.

So, yeah. NEVER AGAIN will I spend any great amount of time pondering the worst moment of a generally perfect day. That’s kinda messed up, and I feel like I jinxed us.

And while in retrospect I appreciate just about every moment of today that did not involve the death of a wild animal, I think I can still pick one:

Best Moment: That very first cow outside the Mallary Complex at the Big E. As I said before, I love just about everything at the Big E, so the best moment for me was at the very beginning. We arrived at the big barn in time for the alpaca show, and they’d just finished showing some beautiful cows — all of them soft gray and impeccably groomed (I have no clue what kind they were). The sight of the first one got me jumping up and down like a 6-year-old. I love that feeling.

The runner-up for today would be stepping into a random arena only to be faced with the sight of a dozen or so GIANT ox asses, peeing and pooping at will. (Perhaps I should create a category for funniest moments?)

Clearly, there is no runner-up for the worst. Rest in peace, poor little deer. We will honor your memory with costly car repairs — and by taking those signs on the side of the road very, very seriously.

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A New Mission! Best and Worst Moments: My Days in Review

So work has begun taking its toll on me again, which means I’ve been loathe to put even more words together once I get home — hence my abstinence from this blog. It also means that I’ve developed a sort of tunnel vision, in which my every waking hour (and sometimes the sleeping ones, too) are consumed by nagging thoughts of looming deadlines and crap I have yet to finish. Oh, and whether I left my space heater on and burned down the building.

This does not make me feel good.

In an effort to make me think a bit more about things — work-related and otherwise — I’ve decided to try singling out the best and worst moments of every one of my days. The results could prove disastrous; if I consistently find that the only things that make me happy are eating and shopping, and/or that simply getting out of bed most days makes me sad, we might learn that I’m an incredibly lame person. Or that I should make some serious changes in my life. I’m hoping, however, that forcing myself to do this will help me appreciate little things — and (if nothing else) that bitching and moaning about the crappy things will feel incredibly satisfying.

And so, we begin with today: Monday, September 22. Rob and I were both off from work, and we decided to escape the cloudy raininess and indulge in some rampant consumerism at the mall. Overall, a very good day … but no day is ever perfect! Especially not when you’re me.

Worst Moment: When Macy’s Gave Me a Headache. Stupid Macy’s and their crappy overhead lighting. Malls generally suck to begin with, but for some reason Macy’s in Natick today made it hurt to keep my eyes open. And I never get headaches! I was unsuccessfully browsing the junior’s department when I decided I would like nothing more than to leave the mall immediately. I hesitated, however, to disclose the full extent of my discomfort to Rob, as I have an embarrassing history of mall-related anxiety and didn’t want to seem like a buzzkill. The issue dissipated eventually, but it was definitely the least fun period of my day.

Best Moment: Realizing that Rob and I Kinda Share the Same Brain. This is actually a common phenomenon with us. While we’re driving, Rob or I will comment on something completely random that happens to catch our eye, only to find that the other is already looking at the same exact thing. And these are rarely interesting things, by any stretch of the imagination. Today, for example, we were on the Mass Pike and some dude in a uniform was entering the door to his building — a completely nondescript dude walking into a nondescript concrete slab of a place. Still, when Rob said, “Break time is over! Back to work, you!”, I knew exactly what he was talking about. In turn, he just assumed that I was looking at the same thing — and of course I was, even though there was no good reason for it.

No, it wasn’t particularly exciting — but it beat out an excellent salad and a successful trip to Levi’s as the best moment of my day. It’s little things like this that make me feel like all is actually right in my world. And that’s exactly why I’ve decided to try this experiment.

Tomorrow? Stay tuned for the best and worst of the Big E! I have a feeling it’ll be hard to distill the best moment of my time at the GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH, but I’ll try. And will anything bad happen tomorrow? It better not! We’re on track for 70 degrees and sunny, and I’m as excited as a kid on Christmas Eve.

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